Zombie Apocalypse

There's something happening here.  What it is aint exactly clear.  So lets take a look at a set of recent events.


July 2009
San Antonio, TX

This story has been discussed as new but actually took place nearly 3 years ago.  In July of 2009 a baby boy just shy of a month of age was dismembered by his mother Otty Sanchez.  The boy's head was severed with brains removed and ate.  Some of the toes were chewed off by Sanchez.  She was found on the couch by police with a gunshot wound to the chest and her throat slashed (self-inflicted injuries).


March 21, 2010
Eureka, CA

Jarrod Wyatt a mixed martial arts fighter allegedly ripped out the still beating heart of his friend and sparring partner Taylor Powell.  Wyatt also removed Powell's tongue and skin while still alive.  It seems like it would be pretty obvious there would be removal of skin with the ripping of a still beating heart from a mans chest, but I'm not a physician.  The heart was also found charred in a wood burning-stove inside the home of the grisly attack.  I dont know which is more shocking; he ripped his friends heart out or the fact he has a wood-burning stove.

May 26, 2012
Miami, FL

Ok Not much is really need to say here.  Rudy Eugene ate a man's face.  Yeah, nearly his whole effing face.  When the police arrived and told him to stop Eugene raised his head and growled with  pieces of flesh in his mouth and continued chewing on this mans face.

I am not posting the after picture but if you click the picture above it takes you to a link...

May 27, 2012
New Jersey

Wayne Carter repeatedly stabbed himself with a 12 inch knife.  As police tried to approach (and presumably stop him) Carter began hurling pieces of skin an intestine.  Yes His OWN INTESTINES!!!  The police said he had them hanging out

May 31, 2012
Baltimore, MD

A Morgan State University student named Alexander Kinyua was arrested for the murder, dismemberment, ingestion of Kujoe Bonsafo Agyei-Kodie.  Agyei-Kodie had been missing since May 25.  His head was found in a metal canister in Kinyua's living quarters along his with hands.  Kinyua admitted to eating the dead man's heart and brain.

So... who or what is to blame?  Is it something in the water?  No, considering these events took place in Miami, California, New Jersey, Baltimore, and Texas.  Wait video games are to be blamed!!!  That doesn't seem likely either.  I highly doubt video games could drive people to this.  I mean was Rudy Eugene playing Dead Island at the why on Tuesday nights?  No it's not video games or floride in the water.  It's not death metal music or movies.  No there is an even more sinister culprit.  Who You Ask????

HOLLYWOOD!!!!

Yes. Not Hollywood in the the movies are making our kids monsters way that you may think.  Unfortunately there are two characters that must be stopped.  Both are the beginning of the legion of the Un-Dead.

Nicolas Cage he is so perplexing.  Half of his movies are excellent the other half are unbelievably horrible.  How can one man a film career that is unbelievably Janus in nature.  Why do I say that he is undead (besides his film career) because he is AT LEAST 180 years old.  He may be even older for all we know.  He may actually be the Greek God Janus if he is not an undead creature of the night.  What proof?  How about a Legit picture of Nic Cage from the Civil War (Five-Head and all)

So, who is the mystery sidekick in this War of Terror?



None other than Tom Cruise!

Here is a picture of Tom Cruise in 1989

Now look at this Satan Warrior at the 2012 Academy Awards.

The guy doesn't freaking age.  There is only one option.  Cage and Cruise are Vampires (or something no-one has even thought up yet) that are sending their legion of man-demons to lurk the earth.  These beasts must be stopped.

Masturbation of Our Minds

I was reading some of the good doctor's (thats Dr Gonzo [Hunter S. Thompson] to the uninitiated or square) correspondence letters from Fear and Loathing in America.  Anyone could wax about his sharp style or critiques of America socially, politically, etc.  But, I really began to think about how that period the 1960's and 1970's (up through the early/mid nineties) was the last era of meaningful communication.

The letter is an arcane artform.  It is so slow...  With the time it would take a letter to reach Ben Franklin in Paris and his reply to Washington, D.C. the contents better be important, thought provoking, and forward thinking.  Even email today is to slow and static; and has evolved into Facebook and Twitter which moved email from a (mostly) private conversation to a semi-public forum.  On the surface this sounds revolutionary.  There is a constant flow of data and breaking news stories.  We see what are friends and associates are eating, watching, or doing.  The instant gratification of a response to a blog, tweet, or status update lures us in.  What do people think of my ideas and links to other websites?  Please like this photo of the Grand Canyon... RT @justinPHX snarky comment #hashtag #hashtag basketball music and general bullshit.

We share links from spotify or videos from youtube to show what we are listening to at the moment. Google offers us the option of hanging out with our friends without leaving our home!!!  We meet new people and talk to the ones we knew only to realize we have nothing in common except we went to the same high school  We yearn to connect via common interest with our friends and strangers.  The masses are really searching for validation.  Validation in their thoughts and feelings.  The cows graze the field like the masses consume and regurgitate information, pictures, video, and philosophical musings.  You are oh so original with the memes and tweets during NBA games.  Information moves through our wi-fi connections and from our phones so we are always connected.  In the car, on the train, waiting in line or on the john we are always connected to something.  The speed has increased to the point that substantive arguments and information is put to the side for the trite as we all become micro-blog comedians.

We think that we are searching for the truth when we watch cable news (FoxNews and MSNBC) but really we are not viewing for information, we are seeking affirmation.  Ah Ha President Obama is a secret Muslim that went to a radical Christian Church in Chicago and controls gas prices (when they go up).

All we are left with is a trite stream of talking points and half-cocked jokes.  Twitter is either a great news source and stream of unfettered consciousness or unfiltered bullshit.  I am going with the latter.  And I am not immune to this criticism.  I am a felony offender.  I check my twitter feed all through the day and for what? There are some mildly amusing jokes; people commenting on the NBA playoffs; even breaking news.  But how does me reading about a landslide in Myanmar, a serial killer in New York, or a tiger attacking a tourist in Mumbai (which is surrounded by a jungle full of tigers; bet you didn't know that) really effect my life.  By the way I said tourist because why the hell would anyone care if some poor Indian was mauled by a Liger.  Even the events in Syria are shocking but, lets get real I am doing anything about it.

Yesterday Ron-Ron-Ron aka Metta World Peace took heat because he didn't know it was Memorial Day.  Evidently, he thought it was Labor Day or something (who cares).  People got on their high-horses about the troops... really, what the hell were you doing yesterday?  huh? Unless you were volunteering at the VA; honoring your grandfather that served by playing cards with his friends at the VFW; or anything at all I dont want to hear it.  My guess is that 90% of the people shaking their iPhones at Metta just grilled chicken, drank some beer, and updated their Facebook status with something about how "Freedom isn't Free" or "Remember our troops".  Sorry to burst your bubble but supporting the troops isn't changing your profile picture to a flag waving in the air.

Maybe we should listen to Noam Chomsky and David Lynch

Jose's Metta World 5/28/12

It is time for another installment of Jose's Metta World.  Today Jose takes on the playful subject of death and a little bit of Hell.

till next time

More HST and Outerwear; and Honesty

Gentlemen:


I am returning the "Alaska Hunting Coat"--for which I recently paid you &24.95--for a full refund, as noted in your standard guarantee.  The "Cadiz, Kentucky" coat I received bears only a vague resemblance to the coar pictured in your catalogue.  the most flagrant misrepresentation has to with the "leather-lined" pockets and "leather shoulder-patches."  If the garbage on this coat is leather, I'LL EAT IT (caps are mine).


In a nut, the coat is far below the standards I've come to expect from quality mail order suppliers... such as Eddie Bauer and L.L. Bean, from whom I buy consistently.  On the other ahnd, I;, quite satisfied with the Russell Oneidas you sent, and also the Jokay shooting vest.


So I'm willing to write this off as inconsistency, rather than fraud... but I suggest, in the meantime, that you be more careful about the wording of your catalogue.


I look forward to receiving your check for $79.90.  This represents $54.96 for the "Everest Down Parka" that I returned last week, and $24.95 for the enclosed hunting coat.


Thanks,


Hunter S. Thompson


P.S.... I see, in the new catalogue that came with my order, that you've dropped the word "leather" from the description of the hunting coat's shoulder patches and pocket edgings.  This is an admirable move, but it's not much help to me--since I was using your not-so-new catalogue.


HST


Clearly; the "I'll eat it" part is the dopest line in the whole letter.  Also, the fact he did a PS section discussing the changes in the catalogue is hilarious.  I really need to become a curmudgeon like HST.  I feel this is not much a stretch for me.

Screw settling for crappy merchandise and service.  Last night we went to some seafood restaurant in Tempe.  It was almost 10 and I looked around and asked the hostess "what time do you close?" Her answer was 10pm and then went into her corporate nonsense about its ok etc etc etc.  We replied that we dont want to be that customer etc etc etc.  She pointed out a large part that just sat down and another couple seated diagonally from us.  So we said ok...

The waiter comes up and says "what do you want?"  um kinda rude and it was uncomfortable.  This is just another case of of everyone trying to please everyone and nobody is happy.  The server wasn't happy to help us.  They were taking the kitchen down for the night.  We didn't want to be hurried but, the restaurant can't possibly tell someone we are closing and be honest with them.  So I ordered a Rye and some sushi.  V had a side salad (which was terrible) and a water.  We should have been honest with the hostess as the hostess should have been honest with us.  It was too late for new patrons.

It's ok to tell a customer to leave and everyone can be happy.  But, nobody (sans myself) really wants honesty...

Dr Gonzo was less than pleased with this parka

Gentlemen:


I am returning the navy blue Everest Parka that I received from you two days ago.  Your guarantee notes that "I may return merchandise within 10 days after delivery and my full purchase price will be refunded."  So that is the purpose of this letter, and the carton to which it's attached.  In the carton you'll find the parka, never worn and in absolutely new condition.


I'm returning it for a very simple reason: I don't think it feels or looks right on me, and I don't think it's as good a value as several other parkas I could buy here in Aspen for the same price.  This is no fault of yours--except that your catalogue description led me to believe that  I was ordering a much tougher and heavier parka than the one I received.  But I suspect this was a matter of misinterpretation on my part, and for that reason I offer my apologies.


In any case, I'm returning the parka and requesting a full refund, inre: your guarantee.  Thanks.


As you know, I ordered three other items when I sent the check that covered the parka: a canvas hunting coat, a leather vest, and a pair of leather moccasins.  I trust these will be sent as soon as possible... but if there's any problem, please send me a refund on these items also.  My check, #253, was for $121.35.


Sincerely,


Hunter S. Thompson
January 29, 1968
Wood Creek, CO

This must not be bat country...

Jordan Moments: The Finals

'Bron isn't clutch???  Here are 4 of of the Chicago Bull's most memorable moments from the NBA Finals with Michael Jordan.  In no particular order...

The Shrug




Paxson



Kerr




So LeBron gets maligned for not always taking the last shot??? People on Twitter tonight were actually talking about how Jordan wouldn't have done this or would have done that.  Get the Hell outta here.  Two of the most iconic moments of the Bulls 3-peats are Steve Kerr and John Paxson.  One is Jordan hitting a three and shrugging his shoulders and of course there is this...

Byron Russell




That being said.  The Miami Heat need some better plays coming out of timeouts at the end of games.  Their last two losses in the '11-'12 playoffs have looked terrible in the final seconds.

RIP Donald Duck Dunn

Donald Duck Dunn passed away.  You may not know his name if you are under 40yrs old.  But you definitely know his music.  He played the Bass for Booker T & the MG's.  They (along with their own catalog of instrumentals) were the house band for Stax Records in in the 60's and early 70's.  Duck Dunn was absolutely an influence on me when I played Bass in the Will James Band (1999-2000).

So here are some of my favorites (and I know I will leave some off) for us to enjoy.

Time is Tight

Most people think of "Green Onions" when they think of Booker T & the MG's but it was actually recorded in 1962 (2 years before Dunn joined the band).  So here is their classic hit from 1969.



Born Under a Bad Sigh - Albert King

Is there a better example of the Stax Rhythm than "Born Under a Bad Sign"?  It has soul and rocks with that classic Duck Dunn driving bass line.





Since I've Been Lovin You - Otis Redding (Live at Monterey Pop)

OK I'm not fooling anyone.  Otis Redding was the real star here but come on the section 1:20-1:38 is tremendous.  As Otis said "Do it just one more time".




In The Midnight Hour - Wilson Pickett

Classic dance beat from the 60's... Whats not to like?





Soul Man - Blues Brothers

Lets end with a little fun. The late John Belushi introduces Steve Cropper and Duck Dunn.




Rock over London...

Jose's Metta World 5/12/12

Its time for another installment of Jose's Metta World.  Ron-Ron-Ron made his return tonight and the Lakers are moving on to face the OKC Thunder.

Ron-Ron-Ron never shy... From the Motherships Chris Palmer

I can't wait for this series to start. And, if you forgot here is a reminder.

LBJ and 3 MVP's

Man you might think that LeBron James eats children and kicks baby puppies by the way fans think of him.  But we NEED to have a villain don't we.  By we I am talking about NBA fans (fan is short for fanatic).

Here is LBJ's 3rd MVP acceptance speech.  Other than changing out of those blue slacks what do you want him to do?



According to samayja

Possibly, Lebron should have gone with a little Rickey Henderson when accepting the MVP award instead of thanking his mother, fans teammates, etc.

I guess haters are gonna hate.  People are morons.

old paper

I read an article a whole back about the end of the "audiophile".  The central theme or point was that we have changed how we "listen" to music.  Not long ago a huge stereo system called a "hi-fi" (high fidelity) comprised of various components anchored the living room or den.  One could simply sit and listen to high quality sound.

Two things changed.  The masses now use music as background while cleaning or playing with their children.  Music is played in the car while we drive; it's piped into waiting rooms, elevators, and malls.  It has become a secondary stimuli.  The second thing that changed is we traded the analog bulk for digital convenience.  The high quality has been sacrificed for quantity and ease of use.  The iPod can hold thousands of songs; pocket-sized and cheaply.

So, how we listen to music has changed.  We don't really see the value in things that are do easily attained and/or disposed of.  New songs are easily downloaded and forgotten.  There is no feel like remembering the sunshine outside the store when you bought the Axis: Bold as Love at the used record store in Madison.  Who remembers when they downloaded and album off iTunes???

Photographs

We can remember the photo albums from our childhoods. Stacks of hem at our parents house. Now we keep all our photos in our phone or on the Facebook.  We Tweet them out and filter them on Instagram.  But I don't have hardly any "physical" photos in my house.  It's a bit sad how one glitch in the endless digital code 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 01 11 0 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 could make so many memories that we thought were forever saved gone; gone forever.

We have the instant satisfaction of approving or deleting of the photos we take haphazardly.  Remember; remember how exciting it was to open the pouch of glossy 3x5's?  There were surprises; so what if some of the pictures had a finger blurring the edge.  Who is this random person in the back of the picture of your brother?  Pictures get old and have character and history. That book on the shelf ages; the pages turn yellow; the smell.  The smell of old paper.

Somethings are not always better even though they are yanno better.

Jose's Metta World 5/7/12

Jose Canseco is crazy as Hell someone needs to help this man.  Below his some of his choice tweets for the evening. Evidently, he needs Investors for a sitcom pilot, a reality TV show with his twin brother Osvaldo, a comedy skit with Pete Rose, and Anti-Aging Products.

Man with all those ideas... somethings gotta work.

Please note that you can contact his agent at Joemelendez@msn.com.  I think MSN.com is the same web-hosting platform that Scott Boras uses.

The NBA: 2 Camps

There does not seem to be much middle ground when it comes to the National Basketball Association.  In my (less than scientific) experience it appears there are two camps.  1. Enthusiasts who love the NBA.  2. "Fans" who think the players don't actually play defense and travel all the time.  I don't like to use the word "fan" because fan is short for fanatic (who wants to be called a fanatic; except maybe members of a cult).  I like to consider myself a purveyor of the physical arts.  OK I'm not that hoytie toytie.  I just enjoy watching people do things that I cannot.

So lets start with the second group of "fans"

These people are typically older or at least did not actually play ANY basketball beyond 8 years of age.  They complain about all sports and how the athletes get paid too much money (even though in labor disputes we are talking about Billionaires [owners] v. millionaires and upper middle class thousandaires [players] and their contracts are not always worth as much as "fans" think they are).  The complaints about the play of the Association are even more absurd.  Fans lionize the good ole days when Karl Malone was a leader on the court but unfortunately not off it.  Fans who disparage the NBA today think the players are soft but yet go ballistic when Ron-Ron-Ron (the extra Ron is for Extra Crazy; thanks NFN Kalyan) pulls a fully cocked elbow on  James Harden.

Fans talk about how the players are lacking skill because we all know we would rather watch this



Instead of this*



* please note the epic dunk at number 1

These fans talk about how they like the NCAA more than the NBA.  Really? Get out of here.  The NCAA tournament is fun and exciting but does anyone really think the top NCAA teams today stand anywhere near the Duke/UNLV teams of the early 90's or even Kentucky's National Championship team in 1996.  So the idea that current NCAA teams are better than ever is laughable.  There is tremendous talent, however, they all leave after one year (which I'm fine with) so they cannot compare to teams 15-20 years ago full of Juniors and Seniors (that too went on to the NBA).

The Enthusiasts

We are the ones that actually like/love the NBA.  We can appreciate Kobe even if he does dress like a transgendered mujahideen warrior.  The NBA has never been better.  There are great stars like LeBron, D-Wade, Kobe, Durantuala, Dirk, Nash, Rondo, Chris Paul, Blake Griffin, D-Rose, and a slew of others.  Most of these players also seem like great humans and fun to be around (please note, I did say MOST).  The NBA has always had an image problem.  The perception of casual fans and the national audience is that the NBA is full of thugs but it is really just a small minority that make the headlines for assaults and other crimes.

I appreciate the great athletic feats accomplished each night.  You don't need be an expert to know that LeBron James is one of the most physically-gifted athletes to walk the Earth.  If people just sat back and attempted to watch the NBA without a preconceived notion they would likely appreciate how great these players really are.  Even the last guy on the bench in Charlotte had arguably a better High School career than Kobe Bryant.

We get it.  We understand that the NBA is better than ever.  It's FANTASTIC!